Charlotte A. Stout

If you missed an ealier post, this page has my previous June 2017 Reflection postings.
If you want to read some earlier Reflections, click on the links below for the month you are interested in:

May 2017April 2017March 2017February 2017January 2017

June 2nd: Mindful Relationships

I recently attended the online Mindful Relationship Summit. It was a wonderful four day event put on jointly by The Awake Network and featured many mindful practitioners to include Dr. Rick Hansen, whose teaching I follow regularly.

The Summit covered a myriad of topics all centered on relationships and how to enrich the connections in our life through our attentive and active participation in those relations.

Over the next few weeks I will cover some “a-ha” moments I gleaned from listening to the presenters that may trigger a similar response in you.

Here’s one of those “a-ha” moments for me and explains a lot about why I struggled in relationships with prior partners before meeting Warren. Dr. Stan Tatkin said, “You can’t bring therapy into a relationship.” Think about that. What does that statement mean exactly?

Dr. Tatkin explained that many people choose a partner for the wrong reasons believing that the one or two little quirks your partner has can be changed over time. No. No. No. Those quirks are there to stay. It is not our job to correct our partner’s behavior, be their therapist, or attempt to convert them into someone we WANT them to be. No, we should be able to appreciate and accept our partner for who they are and how they enrich our life with their presence.

It was pointed out that we are responsible for nourishing ourselves. Taking care of ourselves will allow us to recognize when we are not getting what we require from a relationship and will give us the strength to let go when of that person when necessary. This applies to both a romantic relationship as well as friendships.

As I have said for many years, if a relationship is life-taking and not life-giving then you need to rethink being in that relationship.